Top 10: Characters You Wouldn’t Want To Meet In An Alley

Let’s face it, the likelihood is you wouldn’t want to meet any of the following in a darkened alley on your way home from a night on the town, even if some of them are so called ‘heroes’. They may look all warm and fuzzy on the outside, but looks can be deceiving, frighteningly so at times. Here’s 10 characters you wouldn’t want to meet in a back alley, or any alley for that matter. Or anywhere at all, come to think of it … maybe I should rename this 10 characters you’d never want to meet anywhere if you value your life as it is right now, even if you don’t really like it all that much because you haven’t got that dream job and the love of your life just left you…

Or not.

10. Wario

Known for his love of treasure, Wario would probably rob you of whatever you have in your wallet and/or purse, unless you happen to have food lying around as a distraction.


9. Akuma

He wouldn’t say much, but the aura off this man would kill anyone in a heartbeat if you looked at him the wrong way.


8. Duke Nukem

The Duke would chime off a few smart remarks before leaving you but a piece of dust on the bottom of his imprint. Mention the word ‘Forever’ if you dare.

duke nukem

7. Scorpion

There’s no way in hell I’d go down the same alleyway as Scorpion, God knows what he has up his sleeve … you know, besides that thing he does. With the thing. And he says that thing. You know, that thing. Yeah.


6. Pac-Man

Pac-Man would stop for no-one, probably because he has a ghost on his tail and he needs to find a powerup, mistaking you for the very thing he needs. Chompa-chomp, kids!


5. Conker

With a comeback on the trial, Conker might just pull himself out of the gutter long enough to shake off his hangover and realise you’re only trying to help, only to shoot you in the face anyway because it gets him off.


4. Sephiroth

SEPHIROTH! …. dun dun dun dun dun dun dun SEPHIROTH. Did I mention SEPHIROTH!


3. Glados

One minute you would be leading your love back to your car, the next you’ll be waking up in some secret lab and told to solve puzzles for cake. Is it a lie? Who knows, the insurance benefits sure sound good.


2. Alma Wade

Having hallucinations of death and sudden need to kill and eat other humans? You’ve probably also seen a little girl in front of you, right? Yeah you’re screwed … can I have your games collection?


and the winner is a tie:

1. Slender Man and/or Freddy

You might not see him at first, but when you do you’ll have the fright of your life, a hazy feeling of death hanging over you followed by the feeling you need to restart and try again and again and again and again …



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